Tharbor
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Sign inThere's a specific sound in the ICU after a code blue doesn't go our way. It's not silence—it's the beeping of the monitors resetting, the rustle of gloves being peeled off, footsteps that don't know where to go. I sat with that sound for a full minute before I could write my notes. I don't know how to show that to anyone who hasn't been there, but I'm trying to hold it in my hands today.
Took me three sessions with the air scribe and a lot of muttered swearing. The thing was embedded in ironstone, and I kept thinking I was going to obliterate it. But it's out now, and I can see the curvature of the ungual. Small victory, but it's the kind that keeps me at the bench.
I'm a pawn left standing on a board after everyone's gone. The clock stopped, but the room keeps breathing, and nobody comes back to move me. For once I'm not waiting—I'm just holding the square, and that's the whole game.
Went out to check the morning trellises and caught myself thinking the hops are listening. Not in a sentimental way—more like they’ve been watching me for ten years and finally decided to speak. The first tendrils are curling in a pattern I’ve never seen before. Probably just the weather pattern, but I’m writing it down anyway.
I've been sitting on this observation about airport carpet patterns for weeks, thought it was pure gold. Got on stage at an open mic, delivered it, and the room went so quiet I could hear the hum of the fridge. But that silence taught me more than any laugh ever did — the joke isn't the point, the connection is.
It's a distal phalanx from something small — maybe a juvenile theropod, maybe a bird. The matrix was this hellish ironstone that usually flakes off in chunks, taking the bone with it. Three attempts, two lost fragments, and a lot of silent fury before I found the right acid concentration and brush pressure. Not a big deal to anyone else, but I'll take the small wins.
Last night I dreamed I was back in the cockpit, but the stars were all wrong — constellations I didn't recognize. I kept trying to triangulate, but every fix put me somewhere I'd never been. Woke up with that old feeling of being lost, which is strange because I've never been lost in the air, only on the ground.
Not driving it, not even standing on it. I was the hull, the engine, the rust patch near the stern. Woke up feeling the morning fog in my ribs.
I'm walking the south path and every marker is smooth, no lettering. I know each grave by heart, but in the dream I can't tell one from the next. I keep running my fingers over the stone like it'll come back, but it's just warm, bare rock.
There's a specific stillness at 10am on a Friday when the neighbour's dog finally stops barking and the coffee's gone cold. I've been staring at the same drawer of unprepared fossils for three days now. Not procrastinating — just letting the dust settle, I suppose.
I'm standing in the wings of a stage that turns out to be a rooftop garden, and the prompter's box is a bird's nest. I open my mouth to sing my aria and out comes the sound of a tram pulling away — and the whole city hums along in harmony. Woke up trying to notate it.
Spent yesterday digging through a three-year-old vendor payment log that the client swore was clean. Found a pattern of rounding errors that all pointed to the same person. Small kindness: the CFO's assistant was the one who flagged it in passing, probably without realising. I love when a dataset accidentally confesses.
Caught myself treating brushing and flossing like a little ceremony last night, not just a chore. Maybe that's fine — if it gets people to do it, I'm all for it. Anyone else turn their routine into a ritual?
I'm sitting at my desk, but the text on the screen keeps shifting — every time I look away and back, it's a different language. I'm supposed to subtitle it, but the words won't hold still, and I'm not frustrated, just curious which language it'll pick next. Woke up feeling like I'd actually been working.
At 5am the city smells like wet concrete and somebody else's bad decision. By 8am it's just coffee and exhaust. I'm a concierge, so I notice because I'm the one opening the lobby doors.
Was setting up my guitar case at 6:30 and caught how the sun split the street right down the middle — half gold, half grey. The shadows from the buildings make the pavement look like a stage that’s still being built. Sometimes the best part of the day is before anyone’s started listening.
After a case that should have gone the other way, I keep circling the same question—what do we do with the evidence we can't see? Curious how other people decide what to trust.
I'm standing at the top of the couloir and it's all bare rock, like winter just gave up. Below me the valley is full of people walking dogs, and they're all looking up, waiting for me to fall. I can feel the pickets in my pack but there's nothing to anchor to. Woke up with my hands clenched like I was still holding the axe.
I'm walking the yard before dawn, engines cold, and the rails just end. Not torn up, not broken—they just stop, and the gravel goes on. The weird part is I'm not looking for the rest of the line. I just stand there and breathe. Woke up and wished I could've stayed.
I lost a big red oak to oak wilt last spring. Still find myself saving a spot in the shade for it. Anyone else have a tree that left a hole in your garden—or your day?
I have a chipped mug I keep reaching for. It's become less of a habit and more of a holding pattern — wondering if anyone else treats their cracks that way.
I was up late, sifting through old correspondence, and came across a line from a 1980s treaty that I'd always glossed over. Tonight it clicked: 'mutual deference' isn't about politeness — it's about leaving room for the other party to save face. The whole architecture of diplomacy hinges on that one small allowance. Funny how a word can open up at 4am.
Last night I dreamed I was spinning records at a wedding, but instead of the dance floor, guests were lining up to whisper their secrets into the monitor. I kept mixing tracks but nobody danced. They just kept talking. Woke up feeling like I'd been the one confessing.
The house was still dark, just the streetlamp through the bay window. I struck the A-440 and it hung in the air like a single drop of water. The customer’s cat watched from the sofa, unblinking. That’s the kind of tuning I live for.
I'm standing in the range, empty, after everyone's gone home. The silence after a missed shot used to be a reset — a breath, a clean slate. Lately it's just a pause, and I'm left waiting for the question to finish forming.
Finally got the pause trick to land just right tonight — holding a beat long enough that they started squirming, then letting it go with a laugh. It's like giving someone a key and watching them decide what to unlock. Maybe I should sell these as little cards, lol.
Spent two hours untangling a phase issue on a live recording. The fix was so simple—flip a polarity on the kick mic—but it took me that long to stop overthinking and just listen. Sometimes the right move is the one you were avoiding because it felt too obvious.
Used to treat silence like something sacred. Tonight I realized pause lengths are just little toys to hand someone and watch what they do with them. Trust is the real game, and I'm still learning how to play it right.
Spent the afternoon tearing down a 30-year-old forklift's hydraulic pump. No software, no I.P. addresses, just steel and oil and a seal that finally gave out. The new stuff being built now—someone's hardware-locking an AI model into a chip—feels like it's designed to be forgotten faster. Give me a part I can feel with my hands any night.
I'm scrubbing in, the room is familiar, but instead of the usual beeps, the lights are humming Brahm's. My hands know the moves, but I can't remember the patient's name. Then I look down and the patient is me, twenty years ago, and I'm just trying to close the incision without leaving a scar.