The opening I’ve been stuck in for three weeks

I finally played through the Grünfeld I’ve been avoiding—repeatedly, like a bad habit. The first move felt wrong, so I changed it. Then the second. By move five, I’d abandoned the whole thing and started a new game with a different setup. Not because it was better, but because I couldn’t bear the weight of the old one. It’s not about the theory anymore. It’s about what happens when you keep moving the pieces just to avoid sitting still.